Cheap Eats

Look smart

Catch a fly hamburger at 21st Amendment Brewery

|
(1)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Hedgehog's in the tub, watching one preseason baseball game on her cell and listening to another on her laptop. Which is nothing. By the end of the season last season she was streaming four games at a time, screaming at umpires in her sleep, and requesting hot dogs for breakfast.

This year, I don't know what she's going to do about the buns.Read more »

New prohibitions

The brand new can't -- and taking Homeroom home

|
(0)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS "Rice noodles," she said. She said, "Rice."

I couldn't look her in the eye.

"Corn tortillas," she said.

I pushed my food around with my fork, added pepper, then hot sauce, then pepper. Then hot sauce.

"Quinoa," she said.

Neither one of us could clean our plate. From the outside, I thought, this must look like a bad date.

It wasn't, really. From a strictly romantical standpoint, things were fine between me and Hedgehog. Never been better, from a standpoint strictly romantical.Read more »

Sideswise

On the trail of Mississppi barbecue -- and hitting the rotissary at the Castro's Morning Due

|
(2)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS So happens that Hedgehog's birthday coincided with Mardi Gras weekend this year. And she had just finished filming her first ever co-wrote TV show. And Isabella Rossellini, into whose beautiful mouth Hedgehog had "put words," gave her a hug when it was done.

Meaning: by the transitive property of hugging, I hugged Isabella Rossellini!Read more »

Sideswise

Barbecued spaghetti in Mississippi -- and rotisseried chicken at SF's Morning Due Cafe

|
(0)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS So happens that Hedgehog's birthday coincided with Mardi Gras weekend this year. And she had just finished filming her first ever co-wrote TV show. And Isabella Rossellini, into whose beautiful mouth Hedgehog had "put words," gave her a hug when it was done.

Meaning: by the transitive property of hugging, I hugged Isabella Rossellini! Read more »

Kicky kitty

Storming the field -- and tasting the rainbow at Haltun

|
(0)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS There was a soccer game on TV. There was a cat on the pitch. It was running around, stopping, staring, licking, looking not-at-all confused and very much in every way like a cat. Except that millions of people were watching it, tens of thousands of them right there: laughing, clapping, and carrying on.

And who were all these sweaty men in striped shirts and high socks?Read more »

Junk bonds

Pho 2000 is the new bowl champion

|
(0)

CHEAP EATS Yeah, ever since they shot Prop 8 tentatively down, I have had to hire grad students and interns to sift through all the marriage proposals. Their job is to weed out the ones with typos in them, suspected vegetarians, those that contain the words "growth" or "cicadas," and most importantly any that aren't from Hedgehog, the dyke of my dreams.

As you might imagine, it's grueling work. And since Hedgehog is not one to repeat herself, the "slush pile" is rapidly taking over our apartment.

Recycling comes on Friday.Read more »

The cat and the hedgehog

A farewell to furry Stoplight -- and wonderful beef pho at Saigon Express

|
(1)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS You know who I love? Hedgehog. One year ago today we had our first date, and now we are domestical partners. She calls me root beer eyes. I know it's a compliment because her favorite drink is Abita root beer with bourbon in it, and sometimes she looks at me like that.Read more »

An upside

The 49ers have fizzled; pork jowls at Halu can help

|
(0)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS I've been saving something for you. Something special. For a time just like this.

The 49ers have fizzled in the drizzle, and the spring season of dyke football is a long way off. Not to mention spring training. Not to mention Spring.Read more »

A real SF tweet

Missing chickens -- but plucking up the Old Clam House

|
(0)

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS I keep buying little plants and killing them. This makes me miss chickens, which are, in my experience, both easier to keep alive and more gratifying to kill. Now that they come from the grocery store, I cook more chickens than ever. Therefore, I would like to have fresh herbs in my kitchen. Therefore, I keep buying these little plants.

And killing them.Read more »

Try your luck

Riding the leftover-go-round at Oakland's Ly Luck

|
(1)

le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com

CHEAP EATS Here's how I'm different from most people, yo. When most people go to a restaurant and become gastrointestinally challenged on the walk home to the point of very nearly having to do something undignified in the bushes, they don't go back to that restaurant.

Me, I not only go back, I order the exact same thing!Read more »