Cheap Eats

Wait!

Surfing the Tartine line, digging into Downton Abbey

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Anna Yamo has been trying to catch me for it seems like a year now. When she calls it says Restricted Number and that's how I know it is her, but I am always in New Orleans or Seattle or the bathroom.

"Restricted Number," it said.

I was sitting on my couch. San Francisco!

"Hello?" I said. This time.

"Danielle!" she said, with her characteristically loaded laugh, which tells me I'm a hard person to catch hold of. And in her characteristic accent, which is, of course, Thai: "When we have lunch?"Read more »

Seasonal drift

"Meteorillogically, I had never seen anything like it."

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS In weather, it was daytime and I had to go to work wearing a scarf. And gloves. On the bridge, traffic was red so I was running late, and I had to pick up dog medicine for the family dog along the way, El Cerrito.

I didn't know why the traffic was so bad. Time of day, it didn't make sense. But when I came out from under the upper deck into Oakland daylight, there was weather. And so maybe that was it. Traffic and weather together, as they say on the radio.

But this is the paper.Read more »

Fresh ranch

Poetry is a sport. A delicious sport.

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CHEAP EATS CHEAP SPORTS

by Hedgehog

Greetings from Portland! Oregon! Chicken Farmer would be writing this, but we have a show tonight and she needs to rest her voice.Read more »

Boy Howdy

Rollin out the red carpet in Hollywood, and eating it up at Sabina's Restaurant

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CHEAP EATS This.

CHEAP SPORTS

by Hedgehog

I love my editor/column hostess. And not just because I'm domestically partnered to her (though that helps). Read more »

E-capitulation

Elliptical, if only by intention

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Do you want to know how to settle a strike? Here's how to settle a strike: Capitulate. It's

fun and easy — just ... give 'em what they want. In this case, the letter 'e.'

Hedgehog, I says, henceforth, you can spell youse however the hell you want. In fact, you can spell all the other words however you want, too. I trust you to get the thing said, however you spell it. We're all good communicators here.

In fact, we're in the goddamn bidness of communication, ain't we.Read more »

Sattdown strike

It's hard to find good help these days 

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Dang it, my sports writer has gone on strike. Over something really stupid, too. Really really stupid. How stupid? A couple columns ago, I changed her spelling of youse to yous. Why?

Oh, you escape my meaning entirely, don't you?

Youse. Yous. The former preferred by Hedgehog, whereas I like the latter.Read more »

Popping up

Air dodgeball -- and whiffing with KPOP

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Another new restaurant has sprung up at the corner of Castro and 18th St. across from Walgreens. Korean, this time.

CHEAP SPORTS

by Hedgehog

There are several problems inherent with writing a pirate sports column embedded within a "food" column in any free weekly paper, even when the "food" column isn't written by your domesticated partner. Which mine is. And don't think I haven't suspected that's how I landed the gig in the first place.Read more »

Lots going on

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CHEAP EATS Oh the horror!

Oh the hilarity!

Oh the black bean and chicken chili, spaghetti and meatballs!

No, it wouldn't look good, journalismically, for me to review Hedgehog's second li'l movie myself, being after all her ever-loving domestie. Not to mention my three (3) credits, for catering, co-production, and co-score. So, for once I have decided to do the right thing: ask my dad to review it for me.Read more »

Don't take the knee

Never give up, or order the lunch special

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS And then one day my left foot stuck to the planet and my left knee, under the influence of the opposing team's cornerback, bent backwards. First, two of my teammates tried to help me off the field, and both of them are med students but one is much shorter than me and the other much taller, so the refs tapped us all on the shoulder and said "here. Let us."

They made a kind of a chairlift out of their arms and carted me away. "The fireman's carry," they called this, but I knew that it was not.Read more »

Avast ye

Hopefully, this week your craving is for Moby Dick and sports stories

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CHEAP EATS Crawdad called me on speakerphone, like she does: in the car, with the childerns. "Will you tell us the story of Moby Dick?" she said.

"Moby Dick," I said, about as meaningfully as one can say, into an Android, Moby Dick. As it happens, I had just hung up with my dad, who (as it further happens) is an actual, dyed-in-the-whale Melville scholar. Me, no. Not so much. I've read it, of course, but . . .

"Dang, is traffic that bad over there?" I asked.

"No. We're going to get ice cream," she said. As if that explained everything.Read more »