One might imagine that there is hardly a personal entanglement that Princess Donna, director and star of Kink.com's Public Disgrace, Bound Gang Bangs, and Ultimate Surrender sites, can't handle with a strong wrist and flogger. While that may be true, the BDSM power player is also a master of the kind of communication involving words. And unlike your standard sex advisor, she's that frank kind of sex-positive feminist that can help with whatever you want to do in bed (/dungeon) that is safe and consensual. And be real sexy through the processing, to patent leather boot. We had to give her her very own Guardian sex advice column.
How do you get a sugar daddy or mommy? And once you get one, how do you keep them happy?
Signed, Broke's Not Cute Anymore
I’ve never personally had a sugar mommy or daddy, but I do know that there are websites out there were you can find them! As far as keeping them happy goes, I’d tell you the same thing that I’d tell you for any relationship, communicate! Talk about what your expectations for one another are, set boundaries, etc.
My other advise for you would be to think about exactly what kind of relationship you want before seeking out your sugar parent. Are you looking for love and someone to take care of you financially, or are you looking to exchange sex for money in a more straight-up way?
As the name implies, these kind of relationships can have a built in power dynamic as one person financially supports the other. Be sure that you have thought about what that implies and that that is truly what you are looking for!
My brother and I have a lot of the same, amazing, sex-positive friends. The chances that we may find ourselves at the same sex party are high -- what can we do to avoid weirdness (and incest) between the two of us?
Sincerely, Family Fun
Dear Family Fun,
Avoiding incest should be pretty easy, just don't get it on with each other.
As far as avoiding weirdness, the first step is to establish what you think is weird. Is it weird for you guys to bang in the same room? Is it weird for you guys to share the same sex partners? Is it weird just to be at the same sex party? Once you have established exactly what makes you uncomfortable you can set boundaries. I know, I'm boring. I'm all boundaries and communication over here...
The only thing is that, in my experience sex parties can often occur spontaneously, so you are going to want to establish the ground rules before you find yourself in a potentially awkward situation. You don't want to happen upon an awesome sex party and spend the night fighting with your twin when you could be getting laid!!
>>IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION for Princess Donna on sex, love, or a combination of the two, email her at email@example.com
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