SF sucks. More machines will fix it. Really.

Horrors -- a bicyclist with his hand out! Phasers on stun!

How many ways is this video by the tech flackery sf.citi really embrassing and whiny? Let's start:

Gee -- San Francisco is just horrible. There are mean bicyclists, slow buses, trash on the streets -- and you can't even get a cab to take your hot date home to her place in the Sunset, even though she has a phone and can call a cab if she wants to. It's seven square miles -- which is "adorable" -- seriously, "adorable" -- but we don't want to walk anywhere because ow, that would hurt our poor little feet. Come on -- we only do our walking in the gym, on a machine.

But wait: Our brilliant technorati could solve the problem of not having enough cabs by moving colored dots around on a Muni map! So you can see the cab that isn't there! Or you could consider actually riding Muni, and use that smart phone to check nextbus, which works really well already -- although it doesn't have any info about boats, which is going to be really helpful if you're going to the Sunset where you might actually get laid if you were man enough to find a cab by sticking your hand out. (Just be sure you don't stick out more than your hand or Scott Wiener will get you.)

Oh, and those crazy, rotten vegans who scrawl tags on the walls? Use Twitter to get rid of them! Stuck getting your email in a laundramat? Poor you -- the place needs citywide wifi! Even though everyone gets email on a phone these days. No problem -- our tech wizards can transform all the old phone booths into Wifi hotspots (except: which phone booths are those and where are they?)

Now, there's always a chance that you're a Spanish-speaking resident of the Mission who is tired of all the hipsters who have invaded your neighborhood and are driving up rents and forcing your family to leave town. Sorry -- there's nothing we can do about that.

So everyone should vote Yes on E, so the tech companies that hire a lot of people but don't make any money can avoid paying taxes.

That's what sf.citi is saying. Literally.

Please, people, please, please: Don't you realize this is a city, a really cool city that, like all cities today, has its social problems, most of which will never be solved by social media? There is no magical tech solution to homelessness and poverty; in fact, the tech boom is only making those problems worse. Most of the worst urban problems in San Francisco are related to a lack of money -- something that's made worse by tax breaks for tech companies. 

I'm not saying we shouldn't try to make the city better, and that there aren't some fairly simple steps that could help with fairly simple problems. But when you came here, you didn't move to magic-land. This city isn't Farmville; it's an actual place with people who've lived here a long time who have been struggling with a lot of things (like crime and a lack of affordable housing) that citi.sf doesn't seem interested in.

So this snappy little video comes off as elitist, puerile, and uninformed. (Oh, and that part about the Mission and the hipsters is really disturbing, on a lot of levels that these folks don't seem to comprehend.)

Delete. Start over. And think this time.





you would think that existing technology would have taken care of the grammar mistakes, but alas...
" to here place"

Dont worry, the SFBG's place as the raging luddites who abhor modern "improvement" for anything will forever be safe.

Posted by Greg on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 2:19 pm

on our website!

Posted by admin on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

'Place as the raging luddites' makes no sense. Luddites is capitalized, and 'place as' is patently grammatically incorrect.

Guardian wins.

Posted by Fantomina on Oct. 25, 2012 @ 7:56 pm

I'm with Tim on this one. Fuck these racist techies. Wait until the tech bubble bursts. Society functioned better before all these apps. Now I have to avoid newbies blocking the sidewalk while they stare into the screens of their smartphones. Open your eyes. Enjoy the ever decreasing goodness of San Francisco before you and your twitty cohorts forever ruin it.

I haven't finished researching the propositions. At first glance, almost everyone is supporting Prop E. Now I'm almost definitely voting no if these dickheads are for it.

a beleagured late 40's Missionite who never owned nor ever wants a cell phone.

Posted by Eddie on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 3:27 pm

I guess that's ok, I you want to be the forty something dude that still rents a bedroom in the mission and owns an answering machine.
Do you also send telegrams ? Write with a quill pen ?

Posted by Greg on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 4:37 pm

My wife and I have our own barely affordable apartment (after two evictions--one owner move in, one Ellis Act). Thanks for your concern and your tips on how I can effectively communicate.

Posted by Eddie on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:40 pm

Why are you so important that you should live in San Francisco? There are plenty of worthy people who should live here but do not. Why should housing be made available to you? If you are economically stretched to live here and feel the right to complain, may be consider living outside of SF.

Posted by Chris Pratt on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:47 pm

What makes you so privileged that you think only the rich deserve to live here? I was living here for over 25 years before you showed up, punk!

Posted by barely hanging on on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 6:03 pm

I dont expect you to give a shit if i live or die. Why should you? But why should i give a shit where you live? If you want to find deserving families for sf, look to north korea. Syria, cuba etc
You are the 1 percent of the world living your privaidge life in sf
Yet you still complain, just out if interest i have lived in sf for 30 years

Posted by Guest on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 6:26 pm

you could use a hug.

Posted by marke on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 4:20 am

Shouldn't comment on a drink or two

Posted by chris pratt on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 10:05 am

I suspect you';ll be just as judgmental, solicitous of the rich, and generally useless sober, so bottoms up!

Posted by DocAmazing on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 7:51 am

Generally useless? You have no idea who I am and what I have accomplished. Simply put Fuck You wanker

Posted by chris pratt on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 9:34 am

a number of possiblities, but cyber punk chris pratt seems the most likely to exhibit limited social and writing skills and yet think quite highly of himself.

Posted by lillipublicans on Oct. 11, 2012 @ 9:58 am

I don't think that I'm any more important than anyone else. We are more than capable of making our own economic decisions. How do you conclude from my comment (quip) about our barely affordable apartment that I expect "housing should be made available to me?" We pay our rent and support ourselves. We are fortunate to not be at the bottom of the economic ladder.

Unlike us, however, Twitter, Zynga and the other tech companies asked for and received a payroll tax break rather than pay their fair share with the added benefit (theft) of subsidizing big landlords like the Shorenstein Company at the expense of those services that the payroll tax supports.

Your condesension towards my comment reflects the attitude of entitlement of techie superiority expressed in the video. The segment with the Spanish speaking woman on 24th Street and the smug reply is shameful and shows deep seated prejudice towards people who don't share the pro-techie, pro-corporate dogma in general and long term Latino residents in specific.

The fact that newcomers with money are crowding out the diversity of the city is more likely to chase us out of here because the destruction of the character of San Francisco will make it unattractive to us rather than us being "economically stretched" which we aren't.

Posted by Eddie on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 6:43 pm

You are correct I did infer something from your comments that is incorrect and sorry.

However I am feed up with people complaining about crowding out, I arrived here in the early 80's and there was a housing crisis, apparently there still is a housing crisis. Nothing changes just a different group to vilify,

I believe that we should not stand in the way of progress, and there will be winners and lossers (that is live and it isn't fair). The Mission was once populated with Irish Families they were pushed out to the Sunset, Castro was a blue collar family district they were pushed out the 'burbs.

Accept progress and you may find it produces alot of good.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 7:32 pm

where was the racism?

Posted by matlock on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:45 pm

All of the white people had their needs met by the technorati, but the Latina whose neighborhood is being overrun by trustafarian hipsters was put there to provide a spray of "vibrant diversity" but whose lamentaciones, unfortunately, could not be appeased.

That's yer racism.

This makes me want to take strafing bicycle runs on the sidewalk at the doorway of Twitter's new HQ, terrorizing their coding fodder who will probably burn out and wash out of Twitter only to return to their nondescript suburbs to move back in with the parents within 9-18 months.

Posted by marcos on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 9:35 am

the progressives inthis town thrive on tokenism and mau mauing.

Posted by matlock on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 4:25 pm

I'm a techie, but fuck this video. It makes me want to vote no on E even though it is *probably* a good thing.

Posted by Sean on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 9:06 am

Agreed. Engineering was so much more fun in Northern California before the MBAs began to exact their final revenge on the nerds and geeks.

Posted by marcos on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 12:52 pm

I am the same as you with no cell phone. I thought I was the only one -- also 20 years in the Mission. That part about not being able to help Spanish speakers in the neighborhood was indeed racist. I tend to vote no if things look fishy and this one does to me.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 9:33 am

We're not alone. I know others and occasionally meet other non-cell phone users, most of whom have answering machines and watch TV over the air with digital converter boxes. Not every one is sucked into paying for stuff one does not need. Of course, I love reading the internet, so I'm not a complete technophobe.

I expect that a backlash against the technological intrusion into our lives is forthcoming. Remember when work ended at a set time and started again the next day. Now for most people, the boss has his/her electronic claws into his/her employees 24/7. Ugh!!

Posted by Eddie on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 10:13 am

Who gives a shit. At least they're doing more than whining, which is more than you're doing. Douche.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 4:05 pm

they made a video. A video full of whining.

Posted by admin on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 4:33 pm

Yep they made a video with suggestions to improve SF, and all you did was complain. Good job SF Bay Guardian 30 years and still no progress. What a waist

Posted by Chris Pratt on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:36 pm

conducted after a weeks-long process interviewing all the candidates, along with our reasoning on how to keep SF a diverse and thriving community. 20,000 people have read them online so far, with tens of thousands of copies on the streets.  


now, tell me how a hypothetical parking app is gonna change things, again? And what the heck do any of the things in the video have to do with Prop E? Is Twitter going to hail me a cab if I vote for a gross receipts tax?

also, the Guardian actually pays its taxes, so ... 


Posted by marke on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 9:49 pm

I found this video this morning in my inbox. Jaw dropped. Also, excellent review, Tim. Jesus, do I love tech and doohickeys and all things modern -- deeply so. However, it's that clear that tech companies should not own and run SF.

Posted by Brock Keeling on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 4:13 pm

No Tech Companies should not own SF, but they should help move things forward.

I understand the SF Bay Guardian lost revenue when Cragislist etc came along, and Print became expensive, so ofcourse they fear progress.

But why should Sfist fear technology or is mobile killing your business too?

Posted by Chris Pratt on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:41 pm

Luddites weren't against technology; they weren't against machinery that could weave fabric.

Why did they seek to smash the machines? Luddites believed that advances in technology should help people on a broad level; not help already powerful -- i.e. rich-- people to devalue them and push them around.

Posted by lillipublicans on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 6:42 am

Luddites opposed the kinds of technology that dehumanized people into mere adjuncts of machines.

There should probably be a new term developed that expresses opposition to the time sponge digital economy: I suggest antitwits.

Posted by marcos on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 10:41 am

Less forced sarcasm and more thoughtful and cohesive writing would have made for a more powerful or at least more intelligent editorial.

All I got from this blather by Mr. Redmond is that apparently most well-educated individuals working in the tech sector cannot differentiate between a video game and real life; and also, the local tech industry is bent on causing all Spanish-speaking residents of SF to become mentally ill and homeless.

Since it seems that sarcasm is the only means of communication the SFBG seem to understand, here goes:

Of course, every person working in the technology industry, whether a lawyer, programmer, graphic designer, marketing specialist, or business analysts thinks that every complex issues can be readily solve by clapping their hands three times and saying, "I do believe in faires!"

More importantly, all Spanish-speaking residents of SF are migrant farm workers out picking grapes. It's not like any Spanish-speaking residents might actually be students at SFSU, USF, City College, Berkeley, etc., and working toward a degree in computer science, or performing arts, or even journalism (perhaps to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Redmond). It is also not possible that any Spanish-speaking SF resident might actually work in the tech field, or even--gasp--as a lawyer, doctor, accountant, or CEO.

Nope, all Spanish-speaking SF residents live in the Mission, and all the Spanish-speaking residents of the Mission work in the fields or as hotel maids, and they all rely on a white guy like Mr. Redmond to save them from the evil techies who want to make them homeless and give them mental illness. I must be hallucinating when I walk down the hall and pass by the offices of some of the managers and partners at my firm speaking Spanish (and Tagalog, Cantonese, and Hindi, among other languages). Why don't these goofy minorities (actually the majority in California) understand that only white techies are supposed to hold professional jobs and live in the City in a neighborhood that is not a SFBG designated ethnic ghetto?

Also, what is with these white techies who perform community service, or vote for SFBG -approved progressive candidates, or have ethnic friends or even spouses/partners? Didn't they get the helpful memo from Mr. Redmond and his fans that they are all supposed to be simple-minded folks from Kansas (or Utah) who view life through the prism of Farmville? And, weren't they told they must be evil racist Republicans who hate people of color and strive to make them homeless and mentally ill? Why, don't they know it is the first order of business on the agenda of every meeting of the Association of Tech Industry Workers Committed to the Destruction of San Francisco??

It is really crazy that everyone doesn't just follow orders and behave as their told by the SFBG--it almost makes you think that some residents of SF might actually have an independent mind!

Posted by Chris on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 4:23 pm

Thank you.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:14 pm

Wow, you're really really bad at this. Keep your day job, unless your day job is writing, in which case, find another day job.

That's not sarcasm, that's just typing.

Posted by Truman Capote on Aug. 12, 2013 @ 9:39 am

Yep back in the day we had everything in our cave, women/food/fire. Why is that idiot making a wheel, whats the point? And that other guy sharpening sticks?

This is probabaly the most backward post on SF Guardian. Please re-read what you wrote as it is a little pathetic

Posted by Chris Pratt on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:32 pm

Someone who lists women as possessions probably shouldn't presume to tell others what is or isn't backwards.

Posted by Truman Capote on Aug. 12, 2013 @ 9:42 am

and then watching the video, then rereading the blog.

Was this supposed to be irony on the part of Tim? That last line? Irony?

Self awareness strikes out again with progressives. The video has the same smug "we're here to save you idiots" that the progressives have in spades.

Posted by matlock on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 5:48 pm

You're the last person who should talk about self awareness.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 6:06 pm

is more taxes. The progressive answer to all problems.

It's comical, the techies want an application from the city for their douche phones so they know when the meter is up, the progressives want to keep driving up the meter rates to finance their uselessness.

Both entitled to have the city do their bidding.

Posted by matlock on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 4:29 pm

Gee, how 'bout some tech solution for poverty, evictions, rising rents, police brutality, and City Hall corruption? Got anything for that? Yeah. Thought so. Bunch of self-absorbed, self-entitled rich kids with delusions of their own grandeur.

Tim hit the nail on the head:
"elitist, puerile, and uninformed"

Bingo. The more I watched, the more disgusted I became. I'm actually thinking of changing my vote to "NO" out of spite.

How 'bout creating something more useful for a change... like an app to get rid of internet trolls who take on other peoples' online identities!

Posted by Greg on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 6:57 pm

I agree with you, Tim.

These Suburbanites (the lost tribe) are like salmon. After they go through their mating rituals here in the ocean, they will move back into fresh water to do some spawning and raise 2.3 kids each in the burbs.

You want aps and on-time muni displays at bus stops?
Then why don't you pay for them! Why don't you forfeit your tax breaks?

Unlike Andrew Carnegie, the new new noblise oblige doesn't want to give back anything to the community.

"I can't get a taxi anywhere WAHWAHWAAAH"
Take the bus, prickhead.

Posted by Troll the XIV on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 8:24 pm

The video that the SFBG is so up in arms about is obviously using a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor, e.g. including a few funny stereotypes, such as the "Marina guy," or "Mission hipsters" to make a serious and legitimate point that some problems in SF could be partially addressed through relatively low-cost "outside-the-box" solutions. Nowhere in the video is the notion that all SF needs to become a more livable community is just a little more technology, contrary to Mr. Redmond's hysterically stupid assertion that techies want to turn SF into a real-life Farmville. Moreover, at least some of the ideas promoted in the video have been recommended in some form or another by the SFBG itself.

Unfortunately, humor is frowned upon by Pravda/SFBG, especially if the humor might possibly be viewed as even mildly deviating from the official party line dictated by the progressive politburo.

Interestingly, the organization that put out the video included an endorsement and link at the end of the very video being criticized to a tax reform measure (going to your point about "then why don't you pay for them!") that the SFBG also endorses--Proposition E. But, it is not enough to support the same ballot proposal that the SFBG supports, instead one must only speak if and when authorized by the SFBG, and then only in the manner as dictated by the SFBG. Mr. Redmond and his crew will not tolerate anyone having their own opinion, even if the opinion is simply a slightly different version of an opinion endorsed by the SFBG. And, they will certainly not tolerate anyone else using humor or god-forbid sarcasm to make a point, as such devices indicate a higher-level of independent thinking which is dangerous to the group-think political ideology the SFBG promotes.

Posted by Chris on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 12:53 am

I was pretty much a "yes" for Prop E, and now after seeing the video, I'm firmly undecided, because the video makes the people who stand to benefit from Prop E look like total jackasses. If I was a Prop E proponent, I'd be criticizing the video too. And if you're actually in favor of it, let me give you some advice. If I were you, I'd be patiently and politely explaining why people like me should still vote for it, even though the proponents seem like self-entitled jackasses, rather than slamming the critics of the video. The latter is a real turnoff.

Posted by Greg on Oct. 13, 2012 @ 11:50 pm

True, Greg.

Also, you gotta love any video/pamphlet/PR document that has a bunch of WhiteFolks + one black dude and one lady screeching in Spanish.

All the private 1%-er schools in San Francisco have pamphlets showing a similar demographic.

Posted by Troll the XIV on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 8:27 pm

Lol, san francisco problems:

- Someone tries to fix something

- People whine and call them the whiner

- Nothing gets done

Everyone is pretentious and pretentious about other people being pretentious. Have fun in your city, you guys are making Cleveland look lovely in comparison - and that's a terrible shame on all of you.

Also, I couldn't resist "Also, you gotta love any video/pamphlet/PR document that has a bunch of WhiteFolks + one black dude and one lady screeching in Spanish."
I'm willing to bet a good amount of money that you're white, and I don't see what that has to do with anything. White people complaining about other white people for being politically correct. I just don't get it I guess.

Posted by Guest on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 8:49 pm

No, not a penis pump but the MUMC folks who comprise the Wiener machine. The merchants continue to make rules for public spaces without public debate and that is the status quo Wiener wants to maintain.

There's a great newish site, the Castro Biscuit, covering the gayborhood from a grassroots activist and progressive perspective with reports and photos. Tonight, they're reporting asking the merchants to account for refusing to fly the Trans Pride Flag. Check this out:


Posted by MPetrelis on Oct. 09, 2012 @ 10:26 pm


The best part about being a broken record is that you dont know you are a broken record.
NOBODY cares about the damn castro flag. Please move on.

Posted by Greg on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 12:34 pm

Stop being a Bully. Obviously - someone - cares about the flag pole otherwise he wouldn't have written about it. Just because you don't doesn't mean anyone else doesn't.

As for "moving on," do you ever take your own suggestions?

Posted by Guest on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 3:00 pm

"Please, call me with a bogus 'emergency' so I can get away from this douchebag!"

Posted by Chard on Oct. 10, 2012 @ 7:25 am