Nancy Pelosi is a zombie

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Zombie Pelosi wants to eat the Constitution. Maybe.

I never knew that the house minority leader had a hidden zombie estate up in Napa Valley where a bunch of poorly made-up zombies who don't even know how to be zombies try to kill Goldman Sachs, or maybe the Constitution, or maybe just a little lamb who looks kinda like a goat. They've got a pretty boss knife and they speak in Ancient Zombie or something; anyway, there are subtitles.

 

It's all part of an ad by John Dennis, who is running against Pelosi and has zero chance to beat her, so he's doing the weird demon-sheep thing (what is it about barnyard animals and politics? Do I need to ask?)and trying to get some attention.

So ok, he got my attention. Except that it's a really bad zombie ad. As Cheryl Eddy, our resident expert on all things zombie and horror, explained to me, "if those were real zombies they would have already eaten his brain." He's not so fearsome, Mr. Dennis; he has no anti-zombie weapons. He never would have made it out of that Pelosi bunker alive.

And Zombies don't kill sheep, anyway, not usually.

So get a zombie clue, John Dennis. And if you're going to attack Nancy Pelosi, you need better makeup.