Halloween on the Parking Lot (Pier)

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By Sarah Phelan

When Mayor Gavin Newsom and Sup. Bevan Dufty announced that they are thinking of holding Halloween at Pier 30-32 I was like, Pier Where? I walk along the Embarcadero on my way to work pretty much every day and I’ve never noticed a Pier 30 or a Pier 32, come to think of it. Today, I discovered why I couldn’t recall this elusive piece of pierdom: It’s actually a giant friggin' parking lot.

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The lot begins at the base of the Bay Bridge, where Bryant Street spits onto the Embarcadero at Pier 28, the Hi Dive Bar and Red’s Java House, and sprawls all the way to Pier 36—which is opposite the Delancey Street Restaurant. (Did Gavin came up with this particularly bizarre relocation idea while gazing from the windows of Delancey Street, during one of his infamous faux rehab sessions, while SF was buzzing with rumors of his sex scandal with Ruby Rippey Tourk and people were posting Betray pictures of him all over?)

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Wandering across the parking lot aka as Pier 30-32, I found myself breaking my earlier promise to not piss quite yet all over this alternative location to the annual Halloween in the Castro parade.

Sorry, Gavin and Bevan, but the parking Lot aka Pier 30-32 is utterly cold, forlorn, and lacking in even a smidgen of the kind of charismatic feng shui that would be necessary to lure revelers away from the warm inland delights of the Castro. Hell, walking to the edge of this parking lot, which is ringed with rusting cleats (those metal fittings with two projecting horns around which a rope may be made fast), I had images of Halloween partyers being made to walk the plank by a bunch of pirates, or tripping over their Parrot of Telegraph Hill costumes and drowning in the Bay, weighted down by waterlogged feathers. Ditto for anyone dressed as a Chicken.

No, as I gazed across the Bay towards the loud flashing sign they’ve installed on the East Bay Side of the Bay Bridge, I just couldn’t imagine volunteering to being corralled here like cattle under giant search lights, against the backdrop of the roar of traffic from the Bay Bridge, come Halloween. Can you? Surely this isn't the best idea that the City could come up with after having had six months to deliberate on it?