American Idol

American Idol: Boooring

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We're now into the post-James endgame, and as I predicted, things have gone way downhill. Frankly, none of the three finalists deserves to win. At this point, the whole thing is a sham. But we soldier on, slogging through a two-hour special featuring Steven in some sort of tight gold pants and Beyonce's new music video. Beyonce also gets cameo shot hugging each contestant. (I could live with that. Beyonce's way hotter than J-Lo. Just is. Just saying.)Read more »

American Idol poll: Who goes home May 12?

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Four people left. All of them good. mostly solid performances. Very odd to say Lady Gaga, full-out costume and makeup, sitting backstage "mentoring" the final four. Funny to see her grab James' ass and try to make him shake it like Elvis.

I missed the early part of the show, but Vivian was taking excellent notes, to wit:Read more »

American Idol: Hell's Kitchen edition

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It's Gimmicks R Us Idol, and in between the Ford videos, another Fox production, Hell's Kitchen, got its own special promo. Chef Ramsay (who is way more of an asshole than Simon was and his shows really suck, too) forced the Idol contestants to make omlettes. The results all looked awful and he made fun of them. Then they had to blind-taste-test tofu, and Jacob had to spit it out because he thought it was gross. At least the last part was funny.Read more »

American Idol: The Final Five

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It's getting down to the end, and as Randy says, this is where you figure out who's in it to win. And last night, with the possible exceptions of Jacob and Lauren, they all were.

The theme: One classic song and one modern song. Each of the five remaining contestants gets to sing twice. J-Lo has a flower in her hair. Steven has some kind of crazy red coat. The mentor of the week: Sheryl Crow, who looks fabulous at 49.Read more »

American Idol: Casey was robbed!

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Damn, did America ever get it wrong this week. Casey's the best all-around musician on the show. He's got a great voice, performs well on stage, and was saved by the judges the first time the texting morons voted him off. And yet, after a solid performance April 28 -- one of the best of a shaky lot -- he was sent home last night. Bogus. Who the hell are these 53 million Americans who voted, anyway?

See, the problem is that Casey's not a pop singer, not even a rock 'n' roller. He's really a jazz guy who loves to play the upright bass. Not sexy enough, I guess.Read more »

American Idol: Carole King edition

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I wasn't sure about this one. I'm not a big Carole King fan -- too much pop, not enough edge -- and I didn't see how my favorites, Scotty and James, were going to pull it off. I expected schmaltz and '70s-teenybopper drooling (and trust me, the '70s teenyboppers are getting plenty old enough to drool.)

It started out just as I feared: Jacob did "Oh No, Not My Baby," and while he gets points for his spankin' bow tie, and the judges liked it, I got bored halfway through. Ugh. Sap. Time for another drink; this is going to be a long night.Read more »

American Idol: Casey kisses J-Lo!

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Wow, a real-life Idol moment: Casey, who was voted off and saved by the judges a few weeks ago, who is by far the most emotional contestant, and who Jennifer Lopez has twice called cute and sexy, took things to a new level on 4/20: After offering a pretty strong rendition of Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe," he ran onto the judges platform and planted a kiss on the cheek of the world's most beautiful woman. Read more »

American Idol: Where's Simon when we need him?

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Well, we don't get far into the show before Ryan Seacrest reminds us all that Jennifer Lopez has just been named the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. Go, J-Lo. Tonight, however, she looks rather odd in a dress that included a big pink fluffy thing in her lap, as if she'd just given birth to a sea anenome.Read more »

American Idol: The Pia shocker

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When I first saw that Jacob was in the bottom three, I wondered: Did the hard-core Christian vote fail to turn out in a crucial election? Did his on-camera (much hyped) decision to make a moral statement about Marvin Gaye (he refused to sing “Let’s Get it On” because he couldn’t do a song about people “doing the nasty”) make enough of us want to puke that his incredible singing talent was eclipsed?

No: He made it through. Which is fine; the guy can sing. My kids love him. I just hope he’s not a finalist; there’s enough religion on the airwaves as it is.Read more »

American Idol, Motown edition

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So Simon Cowell seems to think that the judges are too nice this year and there's too much sappy drama. I'm with him on the second point, but a big difference this time around is that the talent is so consistently good, so much better than in the past, that there's less reason to be harsh. That said, it is a bit of a lovefest and I do miss Simon.

On to the round of 11:Read more »