Since you might be having a hard time finding the funds for your 1. your ticket to Phu Quoc and 2. the Opening Ceremony-Spring Breakers mall trash collection you'll need for those white sand beaches, you should at least let us help you out with the third essential component of your hypothetical spring escape: books!

You'll need them for those hypothetically long hours in the sun, and lucky you, two epic sales are going on shortly so you can save your ducats for neon logo cropped tees and duty-free Toblerones. You might also hit up Adobe Books, which has been served its final eviction notice in the face of incoming yuppie muck *sad face* Read more »

Soggy hordes of Dolores Park revelers were caught, mid-day-drunk, when unseemly amounts of rain stopped the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence's famed Hunky Jesus contest in its tracks yesterday. No one likes a wet deviled egg.

But don't worry heathens, you'll still get a chance to blaspheme -- the Sisters have announced that the event will be resurrected in April. Read more »

When you've spent long, smelly months in a bus traveling the world sharing words with pockets of alternative community, the issue of place takes the fore. As she releases her third book Cha-Ching!, and as her decades-old Sister Spit collective embarks upon yet another tour of spoken word, queer revelry, and cramped living conditions, author Ali Liebegott is getting academic about it. Read more »

I couldn't get a goddamn one of my friends to go with me to the triumphant return of the Mr. Marina pageant, held for the first time this year at that mecca of San Francisco nightlife Ruby Skye. Fools! Luckily, one of them did volunteer their preppy friend Johnny, who picked me up in a Beamer, bought my drinks for the night, wore a seersucker blazer, and after the pageantry was done brought me to an after-party at Ottimista Enoteca where multiple Mr. Marina runners-up were in attendance.

It was basically the perfect evening and my favorite contestant won the damn thing. As he said in our exclusive dressing room interview shortly before recieving his trophy and ceremonial Mr. Marina sash, "you gotta come hang out with guys like us." Read more »

The panic that grips you in those moments when you need to open a new checking account, but really needed a double shot of espresso are over. Yes, my moneyed mates, greetings and welcomes to the Financial District's somewhat recently opened Capital One 360 Cafe.

Within the gleaming walls, one can perform banking transactions and caffiene transactions with well trained bank staff-baristas. You can plan ahead and reserve a workspace at which you will enjoy free WiFi thanks to corporate America's largess. And for a limited time on those gleaming walls, you can enjoy artist Nick Mancilla's commentary on the transience of wealth while you bask in the endless future of your own, unfurling before you like a expensive, woven, cheerful, infinite Stars and Stripes. Read more »